Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
actually, I'm a sock model
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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