bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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