Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
