im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
