Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
