No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if only i could text you this smell
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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