Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
