When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
