i don't plan on having that self control this summer
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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