i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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