So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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