SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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