I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
