The maid of honor just puked.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
