I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Green mimosas i think yes
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
