Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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