just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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