You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
