I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize