areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
