I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
