Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
