she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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