lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
