when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
