Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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