Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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