Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
