i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
