She's JV to your varsity
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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