I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
