thus making me awesome and them whores
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
