giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
