you guys were way drunker than both of me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
