It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
