I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
