omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
