big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize