I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize