Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have surprise drugs for everyone
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
