i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
