didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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