Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
