adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
