I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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