ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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