Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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