Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
