Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
