i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
worst night to have a conscience
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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