i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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