I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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