i think my tv is drunk
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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