put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
