We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
