you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
