I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
