he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
